Messages from Hey Arnold, 12.8.21

After completing a tarot reading on myself on how to find inspiration and bringing my intentions to life; I began this quest of tapping into my inner child, which were the cards advice basically. I most likely need more work in healing my inner child as well. But I think that falls into the same boat for the most part, don’cha think? Moving forward, I started to think of things I love/loved to do as a child. The first few things that came to mind were dancing, singing, reading, playing school and coloring. But, I had no energy nor the mental space to begin any of that at 9pm/10pm that evening and I can’t play school but I can definitely study some shit. Kind of depressed this day honestly. So, I narrowed it down to throwback cartoons.

 First stop, Hulu for some Hey Arnold and what do you know, by the time I finished episode 3 of season 1 (Arnold’s Hat/Stoop Kid) I was in full blown tears. It’s funny how you can look back at an old throwback cartoon from your childhood and it starts speaking to you. It’s amazing how messages can come in many different forms when we least expect it and be right on freaking time. Look at God! Anywho…..

So I cried my eyes out. I let the waterworks go until I had no more left. You know, trying to honor my feelings and then letting it pass. I think that’s how you put it.

The reason I was slightly depressed two days go…….first off, fucking life, fucking adulting, fucking feeling lonely, fuckinnnng feeling abandoned, fucking feeling like I suck as a parent, fucking feeling like I failed as a parent, fucking feeling like I’m tired of being a mom…some days, fucking tired of my finances lacking, fuckiinnnnnng tired of these men that decide to creep into my life because they only want something from me, fucking tired of feeling like I’m powerless, fucking tired of lacking discipline because I can do so much better, fucking tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough, fucking tired of emotional eating, fucking tired of lack of proper sleep because of anxiety, fucking tired of patterns/cycles whether it’s relationships/situationships or just life…..which I’m slowly breaking and starting to realize, and last not but not least, I’m tired of blaming myself for EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF THESE THINGS on this LIST. But, maybe I am to blame because continuing to allow this shit to go on in my life.

How many of those feelings could you check off? Feel free to add on to this list of things to be depressed about *shrug*

Proceeding to the show, the first segment was about Arnold losing his hat and it miraculously landing in the hands of Helga whose secretly hiding her obsession for Arnold. Speaking of obsession, I’ll definitely have to speak on that topic in my next journal. Moving along, we all know Arnold’s hat is a part of his character but they further show how he never takes it off, even at the dinner table, which his grandmother fusses at him about in the beginning of this episode.

So, as Arnold and Gerald are determined to get their kite to fly, the wind also sends Arnold’s hat flying. How funny, it lands in Helga’s hands at that point. Arnold is upset and depressed of course. Gerald tells him it’s just a hat, no big deal, buy another one and his response was “You don’t understand Gerald, that hat is special, it’s part of me. Gerald’s response, “It’s all in your mind, Arnold.” And to make matter’s worse, the people in his neighborhood notice the appearance change, and the comments made towards didn’t help at all. Even the television didn’t help him forget that his hat is gone. This segment further replayed a memory of when he was first given his little blue hat by his parents, who seem to no longer be in his life, given that they only show his grandparents in every season as his guardians. He vows that he’ll never come out the house again without his hat, for the rest. Of. His. Life. That is until he grandfather tells him a relatable story from his own experience and offers some advice. The advice, “you are who you are because of what’s on the inside, not the outside.” Now, Arnold is motivated to leave the house and walk back into the world without his LITTLE blue hat, which was such a BIG deal. This time, the people in his neighborhood had such nice things to say than the first time. *rolls eyes* With the assistance of his friend Gerald of course. After getting over his depression and mustering up the confidence to walk back into society again, he was reunited with his little blue hat with a big smile on his face. And yes, you can bet Helga returned it. She didn’t want to see her sweetheart hurting.

In the second segment, we learn about the story of the stoop kid-the kid who never leaves his stoop. Not even to go inside the house. With that being said, he is very protective of his stoop and rude at that, threatening anyone that comes near. In a good game of football, Arnold accidently kicks the ball on to his stoop. Of course, stoop kid gets mad, loses his shit as usual when anything other than his belongings are on his stoop. Arnold comes up with a plan to get the football back which failed until he realizes that the stoop kid actually never leaves his stoop. So, the successful plan, quickly swiping the football from his stoop and stoop kid would never chase him. Why? Because he NEVER LEAVES HIS STOOP. Haha! Stoop kid is afraid to leave his stoop. The whole neighborhood finds out and are getting a kick out of it, which now leaves the stoop kid embarrassed annnnnndddd depressed. Arnold being a good Samaritan offers to help him leave his stoop. After many failed attempts to get him to leave his stoop, the one thing that motivates him is knowing that there are more unique, beautiful stoops than the one he occupies now. But in order to see them he has to take that step from his stoop first. As the whole neighborhood watches, the last push that helped him take that first step was the quote from his favorite book “I think I can!” that repetitively played in his head while Arnold held the book. What’d ya know! He took the first step. Praise God! The whole neighborhood cheered him on *rolls eyes* They picked on him in the beginning instead of being a friend like Arnold. Fuck them, in my opinion. Anywho….Stoop kid can now leave his stoop but still chooses not to explore other stoops anyway. He tells Arnold “this is who I am”, but at least now he can harass people ON and OFF his stoop. You bet ya got damn right, someone tried him and he chased there ass right off his damn stoop all the way down the block. Props to stoop kid!

……..In relation to how it spoke to me, I wrote that long ass journal just to briefly say sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, take that first step, believe in yourself, trust yourself, do for you because your only competition is you, exclude outside opinions, shed the old, peel the layers of yourself to reach your higher self, become your higher self and become one with you because only you know who you are. During the process, we have to let go of things that no longer serve us. Even the things that we are and have been comfortable with for so long. Sometimes being comfortable, TOO comfortable is stagnancy. When you’re uncomfortable you change positions right? Or do something different. And when you get uncomfortable or are in an uncomfortable situation it allows growth because it motivates you to do something about it simply because you don’t want to be stuck there. Don’t be afraid of change. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Don’t be afraid of uncomfortableness. Sometimes you have to do things you’ve never done to get what you want and where you need to be. In the mist of all this, you’ll probably feel alone and like no one doesn’t nor will understand. But you gotta keep pushing. Don’t ignore your feelings, honor them. Cry, scream, or rest for the moment if you need to and then let it pass. Then, get off your ass. (just wanted to rhyme right quick, haha!) You’ll also have people, just like in both segments, criticizing you, probably talking that shit, or not even being there for you at all but will applaud you and be all on your nut sack in the end once they see you doing better and on top of your shit, unfortunately. But it is what it is. The point is you battled your way out of many of life’s challenges that left you depressed and got back to you, the wonderful amazing beautiful supercalifragilisticexpealodociuous magical unique being you are! Yes ya did! There’ll always be little reminders and messages from the universe that you’re on the right track and to keep going and keep aligning. Remember, those messages can come in all shapes and forms-people, places, things and when we least expect it.

Even though in both segments, what Arnold and the stoop kid seemingly lost was returned in the end, the lesson was needed for them to address their personal issues and to find themselves. Sometimes, being depressed or just simply being down is also a call to address and dig deeply inward into what has affected us on the outside. Then, we can transmute that shit and conquer the world!......That was probably overboard but I just felt a sense of empowerment just then. In closing, I hope this journal entry was understood as much as possible (I know….it was long af) and the message was received clearly. Maybe most, not all resonated. Either way, thanks for tuning in!

Let me know your thoughts and your favorite childhood show that reached your heart, your soul and left a message for you that left you boo hoo crying like my emotional ass 😊