Shadow Work Prompt w/ Friends, 12.26.21

"How would the people closest to you describe you in five words? Ask them to do so. Were the words what you expected? How did their answers make you feel?" https://medium.com/mystic-minds/33-journal-prompts-from-a-seasoned-shadow-worker-fc74ab962505

A couple days ago I decided to dive into some shadow work but wanted to work with different questions or prompts this time around. So, I found a few that called out to me and decided it to share this one with you guys that I found on this website here. Medium.com

As I waited on the responses from my friends, I was expecting or maybe I just wanted to hear some negative qualities or not so good words so I know what to work on. Sometimes, we don’t see what other people see and I wanted to make sure I was improving in those departments so I can be a better friend to myself and them. I also made it very clear to them that it could be negative trait as well and to be completely honest. But these were the list of words I got back…..

Encouraging

Caring

Reliable

Lovable

Honest

Patient

Resilient

Mother

Innovative

Tolerant

Survivor

Conscientious

Creative

Vibrant

Musical

Strong

Courageous

Smart

Caring

Graceful

Adventurous

Creative

Sensual

Passive

Charismatic

Just a few of them I was expecting, and I guess I wasn’t kind of sort of expecting them all to be good words. But, if you look at a few of those words, like caring, reliable, patient and strong, can be negative traits if overused. I think passive and tolerant are definitely negative traits in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong I like that I am all of those words, except passive and tolerant.

However, I can be too caring and reliable that I forget about my own needs. I can tend to do too much for others that when the tables are turned the same energy is not reciprocated towards me. It can also lead me to being taken advantage of and possibly hindering that person’s growth in the process because I’m always helping them versus them trying to figure out things on their own sometimes. I never realize all this until the end or when it’s too late and I have depleted all my energy.

Next up, I’ll just go ahead and put patient, passive and tolerant in the same group. Having patience is okay for the most part but I do feel like with it being overused I’m being tolerant and passive at this point. When it comes to negative energy or low vibrational shit, I’m taking into much of it and not nipping shit in the bud when I need to. I let it build up because im trying to be nice or wait for what I think is the right time to speak up and eventually I just explode instead. Or once again, I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of, used and abused. Now, I’m in my feelings all emotional and shit and don’t want to fuck with anyone at the moment. I start playing victim when really I created the issue the whole time by not staying on my toes and keeping my foot on folks necks. I’ll tell you like my spiritual friend/mentor told me “Nice means foolish, Stop being so damn nice! Even Jesus had to flip a few tables” Haha! I love the flipping tables part. I really could flip some mf tables right now. But anywho!....I also can be passive and tolerant at times because I simply don’t want to seem crazy. But, it is what it is. Moving forward, there will be less tolerance and passive energy. It’s about to be 2022. I’m not sparing folks anymore. Moving right along….

Strong isn’t necessarily a negative trait but some days that is not how I feel. It’s nice to know that my friends see me as a strong friend. But, like the say even the strong friend needs to be uplifted sometimes. Some days mentally I be going through it and then it’ll where on me physically. At that point, I simply don’t want to accomplish any tasks for the day or even handle my motherly duties, etc. etc. I know I am strong, just not all the time. I need and want encouragement too.

As for all the other beautiful words, that’s all me baby! From innovative and creative to encouraging and lovable, like alladat. Dats all me boo! Okurrrr! Lol Just how they see those things in me, I see it in myself. I think that’s what makes me who I am. Being nurturing, creative, graceful, vibrant, honest and having a love and good ear for music are all innate for me. I even love those traits about myself and I’m glad others can see that too. To know me is to love me. To know myself is always loving and embracing who I am.